i'm a loser

sometimes, you don't win.
this is life.
you see it everyday,
in hospitals,
in Admissions offices,
in soccer games.
no matter what you do,
how hard you try,
things aren't going to go your way.
i can say this,
but i have a problem accepting it.
i believe that i can fix everything.
but every once in a while,
reality rears its big fat hand back
and slaps me in the face,
yelling the whole time
"you're wrong!
you can't fix it!"
and like a little kid on the play ground,
reality wins,
and hangs from the monkey bars,
like a big bully
singing "nanny-nanny-boo-boo".
but the truth of the matter is,
every once in a while i need to be reminded
of what a blessing it is that
I can't.
I used to hate this,
saying "I can't"
realizing that there is something I can't fix.
but sometime last year, I began to love it.
because whenever "I can't",
I realize that I need Jesus,
that I need someone, something bigger than me.

so I'm a loser.
sometimes, i loose.
i don't always get my way.
i don't fix the problems.
because i just can't.
but when this happens,
I smile to myself
and think about what a blessing it is
to serve a God
who can.

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